Some of you know I blog a lot about the power of words. It's October 7th and I have a blog for posting but my heart is very sad tonight. I spent 13 years at a call center and I heard and observed a lot. Even before that job I saw the problem as well. The problem is this men and women who speak ill of their spouses. This hurts my heart. If your relationship is bad you may want to examine it and see who is talking bad. I recently heard someone using massive amounts of profanity when referring to their spouse. I have seen men and women who talk bad about their spouse to their coworkers, friends, social media and anyone who has an ear to listen and those who don't want to listen. If you are that kind of person who does this you shouldn't even be in a relationship. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize you're hurting the other person and disrespecting them. When Marion and I were dating and nearing the possibility of marriage we made a commitment to one another that we would not talk bad about each other to coworkers, friends or on social media. We had both seen how destructive it can be. At some point when you talk bad about those you're in any kind of relationship with it gets back to them and those words can destroy. If you don't believe me just turn on your tv and watch an episode of Cops where they go to handle a domestic disturbance call.
I've only been married for five years but I want to help all of you here when interacting with humans. One of the things I had to learn fast is to forgive. Men if you don't forgive your wife and quickly you will be in for a long fight. Let me give you an illustration here. See we have a dog named Mara and for years I have roughhoused with her. If we're playfully fighting or I'm getting after her dogs are the absolute most forgiving creatures God has ever created. If I get after Mara she will walk away but seconds later there she comes back again just as loving as can be. That's how quickly we should forgive our spouse.
Ephesians 4:29-32 is something we all need to learn from. "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." I mentioned forgiving quickly for a reason because if you don't forgive and keep holding on to hurt you're no longer hurting the other person but yourself. I have seen people so bitter because of something their spouse did years ago that to hear them speak is like being around one of the xenomorphs from the Aliens movies it's just like venom coming out in regards to their spouse. People even get that way with those they call friends. I found this verse last year and it is so deep in regards to bitterness. Proverbs 14:10 "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy." When you refuse to forgive you let bitterness in and you hold on to it and you're the only one enjoying it. You may think "Oh I'll get them for this." But the only one getting pleasure is you. That's why I want to bring you to Proverbs 17:9. See we need a better way. "Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends." See if you want love to prosper in your marriage or friendships you have to forgive. You have to stop speaking badly of the other person. I admit I'm bad about this in traffic. Trying to realize I need to shut up more. Romans 12:18 "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."
Remember this your spouse or friend you may be about to speak ill of or not forgive they chose to spend time with you because they saw something in you that made you worth spending time around. Look at the cross Jesus took the time to die and forgive you so why can't you forgive others? Try complimenting your spouse once more build them up not tear them down.
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