The Doubt
For 9 years I’ve been doing the Batcave blog
in one form or another. It doesn’t belong to me it belongs to God.
See Thursday night I was sent a video by my friend Jeanne and in it this
guy talked about the struggle to continue doing his Bible study videos on
YouTube. He mentioned how he almost quit so many times. I can
relate to his struggle and doubts about continuing. See I have a goal
about keeping this blog with a mission for people to find hope in God’s Word
and a prayer that they are drawn closer to God. God calls Christians to
go. Each of them shares in different ways. I never started out
wanting to blog. I had every intention for something simple. I
wanted to have a small group Bible study for people like me who worked nights.
I had three people who encouraged me to start and one of them was my
Dad. I very awkwardly advertised it at church with a video of me holding
Alex Ross’s, Justice version of Batgirl. I’m specific about that for this
reason I use comic book related things in the blog. I also talk about
video games, cartoons, movies, and pro wrestling just whatever it takes to get
the point across and point people to God. I never aspired to be a
teacher. If asked I still don’t think I’m the type of leader that could
lead and ant out of a paper bag. So, I met with a couple for
about a year at Denny’s at midnight. We ate and studied the book of
Psalms. Through events only God could make happen my friend Rebecca came
to me, and she was the life group leader at the time. She said I think it
is time you went online with this. I had
been emailing it to a friend but never as widespread as it has become. No
one had signed up to meet in person except for Marion, my now wife. So,
I started writing and emailing it to family and friends and people from church
who signed up. Marion can tell you there are so many times over the last nine
years I have considered just quitting. I’ve wanted to walk away. I
take breaks maybe once or twice a year. I rarely get feedback in emails.
I don’t know who reads it. My church has so often acted like I
don’t even lead a group because I can’t take attendance. It’s online it’s
not possible. If I took any kind of attendance, I would actually feel
like I was trying to get some form of pride out of doing it. I’ve become
my own advertiser because the church again thinks the group doesn’t exist.
I’m not even complaining I’ve just accepted it. I send it to about 120
people via email and I know of maybe a handful that do read it. I share the
written portion on Facebook. One person saw my advertisement and said
they didn’t bother reading it because they thought I was just talking about
comic books. Like I said I’ve thought of giving up a lot. It’s been
a blog designed for all but not all understand. I share scripture and
music and observations. As of two years ago I started also doing it as a
Facebook live video. That is so scary. I took a public speaking
course in college. Had to give a five-minute speech. For two
minutes I breathed. But guess what when I put my reading glasses on, I
can’t see those in the crowd. I found that out reading a poem I wrote at
my Paw Paw’s funeral. Recently I did a video and was attacked by someone.
It hurt. Like I said earlier God has Christians sharing his Word in
different ways. But this blog is about being real and honest. If
you watch it or read it, I am sharing this personal side to let you know I know
what it’s like to almost give up. I’m here to encourage you not to!
It’s not easy to have something to say every week. I struggle and
one of the biggest lies the devil tries to throw at me is to get me to believe
I’m a failure.
I will tell you every time I have nearly
stopped doing this blog God always sends someone with an email, or words of
encouragement or something to remind me to keep going. I don’t know what
God has you doing as far as sharing his love and his word but I’m here telling
you don’t give up! You can take breaks or a refresher but don’t quit.
We live in a hurting world that needs hope and Hope that can only be
found in Jesus Christ. So, I’m going to share some verses that
have helped me keep going.
Galatians 6:9-10
“So, let’s not get tired of doing what is
good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we
don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do
good to everyone— especially to those in the family of faith.”
God has given us all gifts to use mine is to
encourage and share hope and I do so in a way that doesn’t always make sense.
Online Bible study blog that you don’t know when it will be read or
watched. It doesn’t make any logical sense but I know God uses it.
How do I know that because people respond. Another way I know is
this. It’s a promise of God.
Isaiah 55:8-11
“‘My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’
says the Lord. ‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher
than your thoughts. The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay
on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow. Producing
seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my
word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will
accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.’”
This is another passage that has been so true
with any work I’ve done on this blog.
Ephesians 3:20
“Now to Him who is able to do far more
abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works
within us.”
God has used it in ways I don’t even
understand.
I continue to share God’s Word in ways that
don’t always make sense because God takes care of the hard part which is
changing people’s lives. I’m a mess I need God to change me just as much
as anyone else. I will tell you often. I’m the least important part
of the blog. I don’t want any importance. I want God to be
glorified. But to do so I have to be willing to share. If you share
God’s Word in some way if you get anything from this don’t give up.
Philippians 1:6 is our reason not to give up.
“And I am certain that God, who began the good
work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day
when Christ Jesus returns.”
Keep breathing by Kerrie Roberts
