My name is Zac but that means nothing. I am not who and what I wish to be. “I am the king of excuses I have one for every selfish thing I do.” I am not a great man. In my mind I am still a child and I don’t know where and when I grew up. I am a sinful creature. Like Margaret Becker sang “I am clay and I am water falling forward in this order while the world spins round so fast slowly I’m becoming who I am.” What I’m about to say may sound as if I’m depressed but I’m not. If Zac ceased to exist today my only wish is that I am not seen but God’s love shining thru me. I’d trade everything in this very second just to hear my Savior say “Well done my good and faithful servant.” I’ve never been ambitious more for the reason that it doesn’t matter what I accomplish in life. I make so many wrong choices. The good I want to do I seem incapable of doing and the very evil I don’t want to do is the very thing I seem to do. In my weakness Christ’s strength is made evident. I pray constantly for God to handle the things I worry about and get stressed over. Lately my dependency on God has grown as well as my focus and awareness of His love, grace and forgiveness. My friend Kathy Dickinson told me this phrase long ago that has filled me with hope. “I am not but I know I am”. To Moses, God revealed Himself as the Great “I Am”. He is a God who has been will be and will always be there is no end and no beginning. To put in other terms Geoff Moore and the Distance summed it up so well in their song Tell me again by saying. “The God of the past is still God today.” I am not as strong as I think I am. I am amazed by God’s grace and astounded that the One who created me and everything around me, still gives me breath, has saved me from my sins, loves me and desires a relationship with me.
I am not always going to say or do the right things. I am going to strive and struggle with my sinful nature. I am so thankful for God’s amazing grace and love for someone as undeserving as me. I am no better than anyone on this planet though I make stupid rash judgments about them that I dearly regret. I have wronged and hurt a number of people and may continue to do so. I don’t want to hurt you and hope you can forgive this flawed human. As much as I want to be the hero and fix problems I can’t. I can’t even fix myself. But I serve a risen Lord who is not done with me!!! I said I’ve never been ambitious. For the first time in my life I believe I have an ambition, drive, passion whatever you want to call it. No matter what happens from this day forward I completely want to be grateful to God and not be Zac but simply the man of God whose sole purpose is to glorify God in all I say and do.
If anyone reads this please don’t see Zac I’m not worthy of your notice. I ask and hope you see God at work in me. I hope it drives you not to pay any attention to me. I want instead for you to get a copy of the Bible and seek God with every fiber of your being. His word says “Seek and ye shall find”. It’s not merely words it’s a promise. Stop living for your selfish desires but live for the One who gave his very own Son’s life to save you from your sins. Pick up the Bible and discover the greatest love story of all time. It’s not about rules and religion. It’s a relationship with your Creator.
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