Monday, January 12, 2015

The Swordsman (a fictional depiction of spiritual warfare.)

This is a story of my life lately.  think of it somewhat as the movie Sucker Punch there's my normal everyday life and there's what's been going on mentally and spiritually.  pretty much every follower of God will be able to relate to this.



“Lost in a windswept land in a world of shifting sands a fragile flower stands apart.”  The sky is hazy.  Thunder pounds.  Rain slices in patterns and swirls on the swordsman’s armor.  His arms sag.  Wearily the sword of shimmering jade begins to fall.  He coughs as rain, tears and blood mingle in the mud at his feet.  Each day the poor warrior rises.  Dragons, demons, fiends, minotaurs, cyclopses the battle with evil is never-ending.  He has never won a battle on his own.  Joints ache as muscles and tendons tear.  Blood cakes more his own than his foes.  He stands shaking crying till his knees buckle and he slams knee plates and palms covered in gauntlets to the ground.  The armor clangs as fluids splatter.  As his helmet falls open he sees his dim reflection in the puddle below and begins to shake violently from the hurt in his heart.  He was told years ago there were no zombies.  He was lied to.  Each day feels like another war to fight.  He fights not for honor, power, fame, money or any trite fleeting thing.  He fights for those who sometimes can’t fight or don’t know there’s a war raging. He fights for family and friends.  Days are a blur and skirmishes are often more like tragedies.  Words are muttered between tear drops as he trembles.  He gets back to his knees and slowly raises his head.  His armor creaks a bit as the howling wind blasts around him and through him over and over.  He reaches for his sword and once more his fingers are filled with popping knuckles.  His biceps and triceps groan for release and hope they will endure no more pain.  Wham!  The wind assails him again, his fingers miss his sword.  The jade blade sparkles almost mocking and daring him as he braves the buffeting wind once more.  On the wind he begins to hear a sinister voice.  Failure, disappointment, no value, unloved, unattractive, unworthy, rejected, talk to yourself in a corner. No one cares, don’t matter, don’t deserve to live, stupid, immature are just a few of the words said to him.  He misses the sword a second time.  He wipes the tears, rain and caked blood from his face.  His vision is blurry.  He starts to mutter again his voice almost lost in the wind.  He raises his voice louder and louder in direct opposition to the forces assaulting him.  Lightening crackles striking all around him.  For perhaps the first time in so many days he sees.  He yells as off in the distance is a pristine gleaming tower on the biggest rock in all of creation. His jade sword though inches away begins to quiver and then rise.  The wind seems to abate as if shocked by what he says and the movement of his sword.  As this happens his words are finally audible.  “Take me back to the Rock that is higher than I.  Take me to the well that will never run dry, Take me Take me Lord.”  As the sword hovers in the air he grabs it from his knees never taking his eyes off the Rock of Christ Jesus.  A cheer erupts somewhere in the distance.  His knees and back crack as he starts to rise.  He pops his neck from side to side.  Delicately he places his sword in its scabbard as jade green energy pulsates and cascades over his entire body.  He looks at the rain and notices for the very first time that it’s not rain at all but lambs blood.  A phrase runs thru his mind.  “The blood on my hands is what washes me clean.”  He realizes he’s been cleansed by the blood of his Savior and is wielding the full armor of God.  He fixes the shield firmly on his back bowing his head he says: “thank you Lord for loving me and saving me and forgiving me.  Thank you for showing me who I am in you.  Give me your peace that passes all understanding.”  He jumps descends and yells “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!”  He breaks into a run and all manner of obstacles began to come upon him.  Sometimes he falls but the more he does the more he gets up.  Is it stupidity or courage that keeps him going?  No it is an unbridled passion for a relationship with the King of Kings who would rather die for him than live without him.  As the swordsman continues his trek he discovers he is not alone.  He encounters many in stages of prayer, getting up, falling down as he passes them he stretches out his sword points to the Rock, the cross and the empty tomb.  When those around him fall his shield flies to his arm fueled by God’s love and compassion.  He offers help, prayer and defense.  With a gentle voice he speaks “Our God is too big to fail.  How great is the love of our Savior.”  He longs simply for the day to hear his Savior simply say “Well done my good and faithful servant.” 





For the reader the song references may have been lost on you.  At the beginning the story starts with a line from Desert Rose by White Heart which was the inspiration for the whole story.  the second song when the warrior speaks into the wind are words from Back to the Rock by Petra.  When the Warrior speaks to the fallen Christian he is quoting Too Big to Fail by Petra and How Great is the Love by Meredith Andrews  The final quote about the Lamb's blood being the blood on my hands is what washes me clean is from Because you are by Point of Grace.


Song references


   









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How I view friendship

For short periods of time i truly believes God brings people into my life to love and care for.  This does not make me better than any other person.  Friendship is truly a gift.  "We do not view friendship as a gift to be repaid"  It is freely given and if you hurt your friend that friendship is always worth  apologizing and fighting for.  I am not friends with someone for what they can do to benefit me.  I'm friends with them because they made a choice to let me share in their lives .  I may not approve of all my friends choices but i will support them for the individual they are.  I will always point my friends back to the Cross of Christ and the Word of God.  If i don't i do them a great injustice.  I am in absolute agreement with Geoff Moore and the Distance's song Life Together " they showed me what it was to really be a friend didn't matter what you had how you looked or what you said we'd ride our bikes down the middle of the street at the top of our lungs you could hear us scream 'together we live together we walk together we stand divided we fall when you are weak i will be strong when i fall down won't you pull me along?' It's life together i'll stick with you thru any kind of weather."  As a friend i will always strive to give the people in my life the best i can.  i will fail and might hurt you i simply ask you to forgive me i pray you will pick me up and i'll do the same for you.  i will be the best listener and support i can be.  i'm learning slowly to shut up.  The people who are my friends make me feel honored, proud, and blessed to have them in my life.  I didn't choose all of them some chose me for unknown reasons.  some i know better than others  I would fight for them all.  if they have a problem i will gladly help.  I only hope in some small way i bless you life as you have so richly blessed mine  my friends are a gift i should  strive to never hurt or take advantage of.   
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Sunday, January 11, 2015

My Confession

My name is Zac but that means nothing.  I am not who and what I wish to be.  “I am the king of excuses I have one for every selfish thing I do.”  I am not a great man.  In my mind I am still a child and I don’t know where and when I grew up.  I am a sinful creature.  Like Margaret Becker sang “I am clay and I am water falling forward in this order while the world spins round so fast slowly I’m becoming who I am.”  What I’m about to say may sound as if I’m depressed but I’m not.  If Zac ceased to exist today my only wish is that I am not seen but God’s love shining thru me.  I’d trade everything in this very second just to hear my Savior say “Well done my good and faithful servant.”  I’ve never been ambitious more for the reason that it doesn’t matter what I accomplish in life.  I make so many wrong choices.  The good I want to do I seem incapable of doing and the very evil I don’t want to do is the very thing I seem to do.  In my weakness Christ’s strength is made evident.  I pray constantly for God to handle the things I worry about and get stressed over.  Lately my dependency on God has grown as well as my focus and awareness of His love, grace and forgiveness.  My friend Kathy Dickinson told me this phrase long ago that has filled me with hope.  “I am not but I know I am”. To Moses, God revealed Himself as the Great “I Am”.  He is a God who has been will be and will always be there is no end and no beginning.  To put in other terms Geoff Moore and the Distance summed it up so well in their song Tell me again by saying.  “The God of the past is still God today.”  I am not as strong as I think I am.  I am amazed by God’s grace and astounded that the One who created me and everything around me, still gives me breath, has saved me from my sins, loves me and desires a relationship with me. 
I am not always going to say or do the right things.  I am going to strive and struggle with my sinful nature.  I am so thankful for God’s amazing grace and love for someone as undeserving as me.  I am no better than anyone on this planet though I make stupid rash judgments about them that I dearly regret.  I have wronged and hurt a number of people and may continue to do so.  I don’t want to hurt you and hope you can forgive this flawed human.  As much as I want to be the hero and fix problems I can’t.  I can’t even fix myself.  But I serve a risen Lord who is not done with me!!! I said I’ve never been ambitious.  For the first time in my life I believe I have an ambition, drive, passion whatever you want to call it.  No matter what happens from this day forward I completely want to be grateful to God and not be Zac but simply the man of God whose sole purpose is to glorify God in all I say and do. 
If anyone reads this please don’t see Zac I’m not worthy of your notice.  I ask and hope you see God at work in me.  I hope it drives you not to pay any attention to me.  I want instead for you to get a copy of the Bible and seek God with every fiber of your being.  His word says “Seek and ye shall find”.  It’s not merely words it’s a promise.  Stop living for your selfish desires but live for the One who gave his very own Son’s life to save you from your sins.  Pick up the Bible and discover the greatest love story of all time.  It’s not about rules and religion.  It’s a relationship with your Creator.      
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Joshua 6

 So i was reading the other day about the fall of the walls of Jericho in the Bible in the book of Joshua.  For the first time it hit me just how absurd this miracle is.  I've seen pictures of castles and tried to get in my head how all this worked.  The Bible described it as city that was massive with one set of walls within another set of walls.  People literally had houses built onto the walls and lived there.  See Rahab and her family for the aftermath.  A lady who also by the way was recorded in Jesus genealogy.(Matthew 1:5).  Now here's the crazy part about the way the walls came down.  God caused the people of Jericho to be terrified of the people of Israel.  The Israelis lived in tents .  Do the math: Tent dwelling people > the heavily fortified city.  That sound u just heard was me doing Scooby Doo's "Arrroooo"  of confusion.  "Do what now?"  But wait there's more Priests and then soldiers march around this city for 7 days and only the priests are allowed to make any noise they get to blow on Ram's Horns.  Now follow me here this just keeps getting weirder.  Think about it it's hard to get a group of adults to do anything quietly much less march anywhere for 7 days.  No one in Jericho shoots a bow or even throws a spear.  For 7 days those crazy Israelis march around this heavily fortified city.  The people of Jericho were terrified of them!!!  did i mention that?  I mean this sea of humanity came to your doorstep and just basically go on a walkabout around your city that has massive stone walls.  they don't even say anything just keep playing those crazy ram horns the whole time.  for 6 days they do this then the 7th day they walk around 7 times.  That doesn't even make sense.  They expect to defeat your city too.  had to be weird and unnerving.  Honestly think about it from Jericho's perspective.  They should be laughing at the strategy being used against them but no they're too afraid.  There's no Siege engines, no catapults, no javelin throwers.  ask any world of Warcraft fan if this will be a wise strategy.  They'll laugh at you.  No one in Jericho even thought to go kill this wacky bunch at night after they've marched around the town.  It defies all logic.  7 days people walking, rams horns playing, no other noise.  Last day they walk around 7 times and the priests sound a long blast and the people shout.  "do what now?"  Then the walls of the massive city collapse all except for Rahab's house.  Maybe i have a strange sense of humor but to me seeing one lonely house just hovering where walls have just fallen all around it for no other reason than people shouted at it after they've just walked for 7 days to me that would be funny.  Here's another cool thing, not a single Israelite died!  Ok if i'm gonna go to war i wanna be on God's side.  The instructions were absolutely absurd but it worked and no one died.  Kinda gives new meaning when you sing "my Savior He can move the mountains My God is mighty to Save."
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Thinking thru love

 Been thinking a lot lately.  Scary i know.  I was raised by parents and grandparents in a family where i have always been loved and have always known what it means to be loved.  If i know love have experienced love and displayed it myself why is it that i often feel i can't be loved.  This feeling has to be a lie.  I don't like lies at all.  Why do i let myself believe this lie?  The Bible is a love story about God reaching down to have a personal relationship with the people he created.  He even gave His Son's life for us.  In light of that how can i possibly believe that i can't be loved?  i read verses like Psalms 18:19 that say "He brought me out into a spacious place.  He rescued me because He delighted in me."  Did you catch that?  God delights in me.  that's a hard thing for me to get my mind around.  i'm not really sure what it means to have a human delight in me much less the God who created everything.  Ephesians 2:6-10 refers to us being saved by grace through faith and through God's love and being seated with Him in heavenly places.  we are also referred to as His masterpiece.  It is also says in Romans 8:38-39 that Nothing can ever separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus.  My dad described it this way.  "As a believer i am in Christ's hand and God's hand covers that."  As Kim Walker so eloquently sang "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when i think about the way that He loves us."  Singer Jewel once said and i doubt even she truly understood what she said "We are loved beyond our ability to comprehend."  First Peter 5:7 says "Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you."  Too many times i myself have read that and missed the part that says He cares for me.  It doesn't sink in!  The Creator of all that is knows exactly where i am, my name , how i feel, and here's the kicker He cares for me.  And he wants me to turn my problems over to Him so that He can take care of them for me.  Why is it then in spite of this great love that i believe at times that i am not loved?  All i can conclude is i'm stupid and the devil is very good at what he does.  This also has to be the reason why so many believers act like they aren't loved.  We don't believe all the time that God can be trusted to handle our minor problems and He truly does care for us.  From Genesis to Revelation that love has been proved.  Oh how i wish i could learn to trust God more and learn to believe this love is truly for me.  i will conclude with this.
"Jesus Faithful King Lord with grateful hearts we sing How great is the love how great is the love of our Savior.  The weight of the cross the curse of our shame you carried it all and rose from the grave.  How great is the love How great is the love of our Savior."
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Monday, January 5, 2015

Psalms 119:129-136

I love it when I'm reading something in the Old Testament and see it in the New Testament as well.  I was reading Psalms 119 and even though it is the longest chapter in the Bible I believe there are lessons to be found in a chapter that to some can be daunting.  

129-130.  "Your laws are wonderful, no wonder I obey them.  The teaching of your word gives light so even the simple can understand."  God wants us to understand his word.  Look at 1 Corinthians 1:17-18 "For Christ didn't send me to baptize, but to preach the Good News--and not with clever speech, for fear that the Cross of Christ would lose it's power.  The message of the Cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction!  But we who are being saved know it is the very Power of God."  Unbelievers think following God and admitting he exists is foolishness.  I remember multiple times attempting to witness to our neighbor and he would tell them he was an intelligent man and he didn't believe and his scientific mind would not allow him to believe God existed and he had no need for a savior.  God does exist and we do need him!
131.  "I pant with expectation, longing for your commands."  Inside a follower of God is a desire to learn from God and draw closer to their Savior.
132.  "Come and show me your mercy, as you do for all who love your name."  Take a quick look at Lamentations 3:22-23 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!  His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness his mercies begin afresh each morning."  Aren't we glad of that?  
133.  "Guide my steps by your word so I will not be overcome by evil."  Earlier in this chapter is another verse about God's word guiding us.  Psalms 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."  I've shared this once before but i want to remind you and say it for those who haven't heard it.  My wife Marion is legally blind and I have the privilege and responsibility to be her guide.  On our first date she revealed this to me and asked me to hold her hand and guide her.  God wants to guide us but we have to be willing.  God's word is also similar to a Way Finders stone.  It's a fictional item you attach to your shoe and it lights your steps along with pointing you in the right direction.
134.  "Ransom me from the oppression of evil people; then I can obey your commandments."  Maybe you're like me and you don't work in the most God-fearing place and you need time away with God.  
135.  "Look upon me with love; teach me your decrees."  We all should desire this.  
136.  "Rivers of tears gush from my eyes because people disobey your instructions."  This is why i get mad at face book and the TV.  I don't understand the absolute disrespect people have for God.  



The Steadfast Love of the Lord by Kathy Troccoli Kathy Troccoli - The Steadfast Love


I am the Lighthouse by The New Gaither Vocal Band Gaither Vocal Band - I Am The Lighthouse

  
Thy Word by Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith Michael W. Smith & Amy Grant - Thy Word - [Live]




I couldn't quite find the new version of this song but this was something i meant to put on my last blog and forgot.  Another time and Another Place by Sandi Patty and Wayne Watson Sandi Patty and Wayne Watson



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