Battle
There are things that
God has called you to do. Mine is to encourage. I have been in some
struggles as of late. Maybe I don’t talk a lot about it. But I’m seeking
God. Saw on Facebook recently my friend Crystal posted this thing that said,
“Have you ever given someone else a motivational speech when you yourself are
hurting.” Every week. If someone can learn from my pain and seek God,
then I will keep doing this. As open and vulnerable as that may be.
I have echoed the words before of Margaret Becker’s song “God’s not
afraid of your honesty. He can heal your heart if you speak honestly.”
I was reminded recently by some friends how much we need to be seeking
God in prayer and spending time in the Bible. Humans are a stupid lot
because that sometimes is our last choice. I’ll admit it. Sometimes
I’m stupid and make bad decisions.
In order to fight my battles,
I have to remember how.
Psalm 62:5-8
“Let all that I am
wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock
and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and
honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can
reach me.
O my people, trust in
Him at all times, Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge.”
Another thing I have
done during this time is to write poetry. I have never claimed to be good
at it. But sometimes you must unload your feelings into words. I’m
going to share a poem I called The Fog.
The fog
I walk through each
day
I have no focus
Matter
One day my life may
matter
So hard
To see the next thing,
I need to do
Did all I knew to do
Loved with every
fiber of my being
Now I walk
around
Confused
Must keep
breathing
I don’t know why
Scattered
Shattered
World has
crumbled
Need hugs
Prayer
Something to focus
on
Can’t give in to
anger or bitterness
This is not the way
to turn
Keep breathing
Do something
Anything
It’s all a blur
Activity dulls
But doesn’t help
focus
Fog remains
Tears keep
coming
Hurt strikes at the
worst of times
Mentally and
emotionally drained
Fog in mind
Surrounds me with
cold
I just keep
praying
God heal my pain
All I wanted was to
be loved
The fog slices with
emotional knives
It wears down my
defenses
Once again, I journey
with Kismet
Slowly this journey
with Kismet
Will either
strengthen
Or destroy
Life and
existence
My struggle
Each day
Either seek God or
give in to despair
I believe somehow,
somehow
Hope to go on will be
seen
Get me out of this
painful fog
The passage in Psalms
I shared referred to God as my refuge and a place to pour out my heart. I
must be like Zero Sugar Minute Maid fruit punch being poured into my Green
Lantern mug as the mug fills the bottle empties. When we pour our hearts
out into God who is our refuge, he defends us and shows himself strong.
See God has called me to encourage people and sometimes I let myself be
vulnerable to do so. I’m baring my heart with poetry. Not all will
relate but I’m being honest and open. If God can somehow use someone as
feeble and broken as me then he’s not done with you. I want you to leave
this blog knowing God wants our hearts, our troubles, our mess all of it.
“Heal the wound but
leave the scars
A reminder of how merciful
you are
I am broken, torn
apart
Take the pieces of
this heart
And heal the wound
but leave the scar”
If you’ve been hurt
or are in emotional or mental battle, seek God. Pick up his Word and
pray. Get the Youversion app and have it read devotionals and scripture
to you. Make God your first choice not your last. Recently I went
to a men’s Bible study group, and it was something I needed more than I would
admit. We need encouragement and like I said before if God can use my
hurt to help someone else, I say go for it.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
“All praise to God,
the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, God is our merciful Father and the source
of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort
others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same
comfort God has given us.”
What a friend by Kathryn Scott
Acoustic mix by Point of Grace
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